Each day I have a little more energy than the day before. This cold or flu or whatever it is has really knocked me for a loop. I did feel well enough to hop on the bus with Lady to the Uptown Espresso for our morning outing. I drank my coffee and Lady kept me company. We just missed the bus home. The bus stop had no shelter and it was pouring rain. Since walking in the rain is warmer than standing in it I decided that we would walk home. I was a little worried about my stamina but we made it back on foot dripping but happy.

Today is the start of Lent, Ash Wednesday. I am going to mass tonight and will have the sign of the cross marked on my forehead in ashes. "Repent and believe in the good news." It's a good time to get closer to God. I'm participating in an online retreat called Days of Deepening Friendship, an online retreat. It's based upon a book by Vinita Hampton Wright. You don't have to own the book to participate in the retreat. Ms. Hampton Wright provides the chapters that pertain to the weeks meditation online in pdf form. I worked on the first one today and it is helping me get ready for the six-week marathon that is Lent.

Bless this mess

I finally made it to my women's spirituality group last night. I felt like I was behind everyone else because I hadn't completed all the assignments in the book. My cold has left me with little energy and some days I've been lucky just to collapse at the end of the day and thank God for my blessings and ask for his help for those I love. I'm too tired for words so we're just there, God and me. Anyway, many of the women had done all the reading and journaling and had some profound insights. It inspired me to take the book we are using, The Cup of Our Life by Joyce Rupp, and begin anew with the second week's exercises today.
Today's topic was the clutter in our lives that keeps us from filling our soul-space with God. I had trouble with that at first because I live a cluttered life. I've been trying to change for years but my OCD stands in the way. I've learned to live with it, occasionally throwing stuff out or shoving it to the side. So the exercise is this, "Sit quietly. Go within. Look around inside. See what clutters your life with God." That's what I did. I went inside myself and God just picked up the stack of magazines and newspapers on the couch of my mind and shoved them to the side. Then he sat next to me. God meets me where I am and works with me so that I can become what he wants me to be. He looks beyond the clutter and he sees me.

notes from the checkout

Yesterday was Valentine's Day and I started my shift at seven in the morning in the express line. We were very busy selling cards, flowers, and chocolate and, oh yeah, groceries. One of my customers noted about another, "That guy's brave. He's only buying one flower." Who knows, maybe his beloved was swept off her feet. One man was angry that the wife wanted cut flowers instead of a plant which would last. I'm glad she wasn't there to listen. Is showing that you care for someone such a burden?
I love flowers but I wouldn't want my husband to buy them because he has to but because he wants to. I wasn't feeling well last night so I asked my husband to make Top Ramen for me because that was what I craved. We watched a DVD together with my feet up on the couch. That, to me is love more beautiful than a dozen roses.

Having a pity party

I have what my childhood doctor would call "the miseries". My nose is stuffy, my chest is tight, and I'm tired. I'm not used to being sick so I'm sorry that I'm so whiney. I love to walk a mile or two with my dog but we sure aren't getting that far these last few days. I'm lucky to get dressed and out of the house. Since I have a dog I have to. Sniff!
Now that that's out of the way--
I'm starting to go to a women's spirituality group at my church. I hope I can make it tonight and keep from sneezing on people or shaking their hands. We are reading The Cup of Life by Joyce Rupp I'm hoping that it will help me to get back into the regular practice of prayer. It's been really difficult to put aside that time each day. My relationship with God needs to be nourished just like my relationship with my friends and family. Why is it that those I love most get the farthest down on my to-do list? Sigh. Each day starts anew and each day is the day for renewal. It's time to begin again and instead of talking about praying and loving it's time to pray and to love.

Life is drama

There is a lot of drama in life. There are times that I feel like I need to keep putting out fires if only I could. You see, I can't control peoples lives and that is frustrating when I see people hurting. If only I could help everyone get a job who needs one, heal the sick, and heal broken relationships. The first is one that others are better at than I and the last two are the province of God. My sister-in-law is having vision problems and she is an avid reader. My mother-in-law just finished her course of chemotherapy. My next door neighbors are having volatile fights next door. A priest I admired is being sued by an adult man for having an improper sexual relationship with him under the guise of therapy which be harder to believe if I didn't know the young man involved. I don't know what really happened in that case and I am so glad that I am not judge and jury. The only helpful thing I know to do is to pray. Last night when everything was pressing around me I happened upon this reading from Isaiah 49: 15-16 NAB:

"Can a mother forget her infant, be without tenderness for the child of her womb? Even should she forget, I will never forget you. See, upon the palms of my hands I have written your name" It gave me comfort and I said a rosary for my fighting neighbors.