Ash Wednesday 2012

Another Lent begins.  Another time to clear out the spiritual cobwebs.  Some give up something for Lent.  Others take on a new spiritual practice.  What keeps us from God?  What will bring us closer?

Last year after my struggle with breast cancer I decided to give up suffering for Lent.  I felt I'd suffered enough with all the things that come with a cancer diagnosis.  Suffering found me in ways that I couldn't have imagined. In March, Hazzard, my sixteen year-old cat died.  He had kidney disease and so his passing wasn't a surprise, it was just painful.  He was an old friend.  He didn't want to be alone when he died and so he died in my arms.  That was hard, that was difficult, but I was shocked at the suffering that was to come.  

Losing a pet is like losing one of the family but it doesn't compare to the loss of someone from the human family.  In April Andrew was killed in a motorcycle accident three days from his twenty-fifth birthday.  He was part of our neighborhood's extended family.  He and his sisters and my son and daughters would migrate from house to house, usually the boys at one and the girls at the other.  I watched him while his parents worked.  As a young man he moved into the house next door to me and started raising his son.  He later moved to a different spot in the neighborhood later but I would see him skateboarding with his dog down the street or taking his son sledding.  "Hi Andrew."  "Hi Cheryl".  And then he was gone, dead, abruptly dead.  It was like I had been kicked in the gut.  This year I am not giving up suffering.

The first reading for Ash Wednesday from the prophet Joel tells us:

Even now, says the LORD,
return to me with your whole heart,
with fasting, and weeping, and mourning;
Rend your hearts, not your garments,
and return to the LORD, your God.

I've approached this Lent with a different attitude.  I am ready to do what I usually do.  I am giving up something that I can give up (don't ask me to give up coffee)  and something that is keeping me from spending time with God and from following his command to "love one another".  I am giving up Facebook and Twitter for the duration and plan to use the extra time gained getting closer to God and to my friends.  It's time to do a little face-to-face or telephoning or physical letter writing to get closer to the people that I love.  I guess the old fashioned ways of communicating are something that I will take up for Lent.  I'm going to try to work against the excuses for not spending dedicated time with God.

These actions won't keep suffering from knocking at my door but they will lead to a healthier relationship with God.  Peace be with you this Ash Wednesday.

  

Lent

I always seem to begin Lent reluctantly but yesterday was Ash Wednesday and here I am. I went to mass at 7am yesterday morning. Father John traced an ash cross on my forehead and I received Eucharist. I didn't have to start work until almost 10am so I spent some time at Hotwire Coffee eating breakfast and wasting time. All through the day I would see customers who had ashes on their foreheads and hear from others who said that they would be going to mass or church later in the day. One woman told me I had a smudge on my forehead and I explained Ash Wednesday. She knew about Fat Tuesday but didn't know what Ash Wednesday was for. I explained that Fat Tuesday was the prelude to Ash Wednesday, a feast before the fast. I'm glad I went to mass early yesterday. It meant that I wore my ashes all day and for a brief time I was a sign.
Now I am on day 2 of Lent. I've given up alcohol for the duration and I signed up for the Days of Deepening Friendship retreat. It's a good way to keep praying and to spend special time in prayer and meditation during this special season. I don't like the fasting part of Lent but I do like the praying. May this Lent bring you closer to God.