Monday, August 30, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
My breast doesn't hurt anymore
My breast doesn't hurt anymore. I don't know when it stopped but I can be hugged and I can reach high above my head. It's amazing. I think I expected the pain to last for months if not forever. Even the incision arount the port is healed. There's a little tenderness when I lie on it but not much. After round #1 of chemo I was really sick but I feel pretty good now. I have my next chemo in two days; it's time to get sick again. I can do it, especially after I've found that I'm not nauseous and fatigued all the time. I'll have a few days of awfullness and then I will begin to rise again. I was talking to God just after my last chemo and told him that I didn't think I could do this chemo thing if I was going to be sicker than a dog all the time. You see, I thought that was going to last forever too.
I think the most difficult part this whole thing is keeping hope alive when I am at my sickest. I need to know that the Promised Land comes after the Desert. It helps to know that God understands my despair. The Psalms are so helpful in expressing pain. One that has helped me is Psalm 55. It starts, "Listen God to my prayer; do not hide from my pleading, hear me and give answer. I rock with grief..." (Psalm 55:2-3a, NAB). The Word of God does not sugarcoat pain. Life is good now but it's back to the Desert in two days.
I've got a couple more book recommendations. The first is In the Company of Cheerful Ladies by Alexander McCall Smith, another installment of the #1 Ladies Detective Agency. Mma. Ramotswe's no-good ex-husband shows up and tries to blackmail her. He doesn't know whom he is dealing with.
The second is Juliet, Naked, by Nick Hornby. Annie's significant other Duncan is obsessed with Tucker Crowe, a 1980's musician who abruptly ends his career after a trip to a bathroom bar. Duncan oversees a fan website dedicated to Mr. Crowe who hasn't been heard from in over twenty years. Annie posts on the website, Tucker e-mails her, and the fun ensues.
If I have to be on medical leave, I might as well have fun.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood
After the walk I dropped Lady off at home and drove to the clinic for my last Nuepogen injection this cycle. It's just a little subcutaneous poke. The whole visit takes about 10 minutes from check-in to needle stick. Now I'm at Starbucks playing with my computer. I haven't been able to stomach coffee since my chemo treatment but I can do plain black tea. Ohhh, that and a pumpkin scone, mmmm.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Good read
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
It's a beautiful sunny day
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Living my life

Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Moments of Grace
I'm reading a book called The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything: A Spirituality for Real Life