Full speed ahead to Grouchville

Wednesday I had an appointment with my surgeon. I didn't think I needed to take anyone with me because I was sure there would be good news. Wrong! The path report from my second surgery came in and they found a new spot, ductal carcinoma in situ. It was not good news. Oh well, at least the third surgery is done. They had a cancellation on Friday and fit me in. I'm recovering faster this time and Lady and I walked to the library today with no problems.

Thursday I had my appointment with both the oncologist and the radiation oncologist. My husband was by my side for both appointments. I am at stage IIb I found. The oncologist wants to start me on chemo as soon as my breast heals. I hope my new path report shows clear margins so that my breast can actually heal. He is going to treat my cancer aggressively if my body can take it. I get a heart scan next week to find out. This Wednesday they are going to install a chest port so that they don't have to poke around for veins so much in the 20 weeks of chemo. My appointment with radiation oncology was basically a get-acquainted time. The six weeks of radiation won't take place until after chemo. I was totally wiped out after those appointments. They told me all the side effects I can expect. Oh, joy!

I feel like I'm being sucked into the cancer vortex. When first diagnosed I hoped that the path to recovery would be a "bump in the road". I would have my mastectomy or lumpectomy and my radiation and I would get on with my life post haste. I couldn't have a nice little tame tumor. I had to have one that spread to the lymph nodes. I haven't gotten clear margins (cancer free tissue) on my path sample yet. I hate surgery. It hurts. I like my hair. I like my health. I don't want to go to the doctor all the time. Grump!

One of my daughters suggested a book for me. I bought it immediately for my Kindle.

It's called

Bright-Sided: How Positive Thinking Is Undermining America by Barbara Ehrenreich. I love the first chapter, "Smile or Die: The Bright Side of Cancer". Everyone tells us that we have to remain positive in order to fight our cancer. Ms. Ehrenreich writes that cancer is not positive. It has not been proven that a positive attitude leads to better outcomes. Grouchville here I come!