Cancer, Cancer, Cancer

There, I've said the word. I have breast cancer. I had a routine mammogram. I got the dreaded call back but I wasn't too worried because that has happened to me before. Last year they took extra films and an ultrasound and that was that. This time I had the extra films, the ultrasound, and then a biopsy. I have infiltrating mammary carcinoma. I've met with the surgeon and his team of nurses. I'm scheduled for surgery July 8th. I have mixed feelings. I want the time to go fast so that I get the surgery over and done with and so that my cancer can be staged. I also want the time to go slowly because each day marches me closer to surgical pain and the hassles of treatment. Right now, I don't feel too bad. It's the treatment that's going to make me feel bad. If I sound like a whiner, I am. I freely admit it.
When I hit 50 I came to the realization that I really would die some time in the future. I don't know or how or when I will die but everyone leaves this world in a box. I have more time behind me than ahead of me. When I found out I had breast cancer I couldn't ask, "Why me?" I knew it might as well be me as someone else. People get sick. They die. It's the way of the world. Besides, there has to be room in the world for all the new people. I'm not dead yet and may not be for a long time but cancer gives me pause for contemplation.